Why parents are discouraged from being around their child's classroom

The greatest sign of success for a teacher... is to be able to say, 'The children are now working as if I did not exist.'

 ~Maria Montessori

Whether it be a school classroom, an art class or a sports coaching, you would often hear the teacher or coach asking the parent to "not be present around the classroom premises". It is often hard for a teacher or a coach to belay such an instruction to a parent when they know that all the parent wishes to do is look after their child. Why then would it be necessary to keep a parent away from their child's classroom?

Every child shares a very special and unique bond with their parent. This bond is so unique and sensitive that a parent's smallest instruction, simplest advice, most trivial fear and their deepest insecurities often tend to catch hold of their child and these tiny specks of inherited behaviors and beliefs can be observed well into their adulthood (the subconscious knowledge of this fact may also be the reason why some parents go overboard with their worries and develop postnatal anxiety)

Mother watches while girls participate in athletic drill

An innate concept every parent needs to understand and digest is that for a child to be able to develop and grow freely they need to learn to function independently. As Maria Montessori said, "To assist a child we must provide him(them) with an environment which will enable him(them) to develop freely." Paradoxically, the best way to assist a child's growth is give them their space instead of trying to assist them at every difficult stage and correct every mistake. It is necessary for them to feel empowered after having solved a puzzle all by themselves, without any assistance.

When parents sit inside their child's classroom, their mere presence is enough for the child to be easily distracted. When the parent walks out of the classroom, may be just to get a cup of water, the child tends to get upset and confused (this behavior has been observed and noted by many teachers) . See a parent is like a celebrity to their child. Would you, as an adult, be able to concentrate on the chore at hand if your favorite movie star was sitting close to you?

Of course this does not go to say that you must let go of your child completely. Your child still requires your presence but just not when they are in a state of flow with an activity at hand. Let them have their classroom time to themselves. After they are back in your care you can discuss the activities, provide them with your personal experiences connected to the activity, and show them what you might have done differently in the same situation.

Authored by Rahul Dagliya, CEO at Ardour Sports Academy